Best of the Month: April 2024 - Recommendations for Your Life
It’s time for me to share all of the things that have carried me through the last month.
There’s the podcast that made me laugh and cry simultaneously.
The article about toxic forms of communication that convinced me to invest in a relationship course.
I’m sharing the recipe for an easy chicken tortilla soup that teenage girls devour, and a trusted chocolate chip cookie recipe I use to usher in every cozy weekend at home.
There’s the book that is changing my life, and the music that makes me dance or praise.
Also, read the best recommendations from a colleague and friend—Monica Gutierrez.
Please send me your list of favorites that carry you through life, and it could possibly appear in one of my future “Best of the Month” posts.
We’re all trying our best. Let’s help each other along the way.
Much, much love,
Olivia
Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier by Arthur Brooks & Oprah Winfrey
This book is changing my life.
Dr. Arthur Brooks is a happiness researcher and professor at Harvard and…well, we all know who Oprah Winfrey is. Brooks argues that the great pursuit, by nearly every person on the planet, to live a happy life is an impossible goal. Life is filled with too much good and suffering to live a continuously happy life. Instead, we aim to live a happier life—no matter our circumstances.
Brooks gives practical habits, proven through research, to build resiliency and the ability to grow happier no matter what life throws our way. He quotes the great Viktor Frankl (psychiatrist who survived the concentration camps of the Holocaust), and teaches highly sensitive people (like myself), who feel emotions deeply, that we can “feel the feels,” and then learn the art of metacognition—the ability to rise above real emotions and take control of our perspective.
This is historical fiction about the Soviet Union’s deportation of the most influential (the doctors, professors, writers, artists, politicians) from Lithuania to a penal colony in Siberia.
After living nearly a decade in the Baltics (Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania), it seemed that nearly every family had a story of loss similar to the one Sepetys allows us to enter. Reading this book honors the loss of great minds who would rather die for freedom than bow. It also gives insight into the current conflict with Russia and the fear of history repeating itself that pulses in the surrounding nations.
Sepetys is an American of Lithuanian descent, and spent months back in her family’s homeland researching and hearing the stories of those who lived through Soviet forced labor camps.
Writer Anne Lamott’s TED Talk on life, death and learning to endure the beams of love.
Although I realize this is not officially a podcast, it deserves 15 minutes of your time to hear one of the nation’s best writers give the top lessons she has learned in 67 years of life.
Her words made me think, cry, wish I could write better, and brought a light-hearted hope.
She’s a former addict, a single mom, a best-selling author, a writing professor and a Sunday School teacher. Some of my personal highlights from her talk are:
“Life Lesson: Chocolate with 75 percent cacao is not actually food. It was never meant to be considered edible.”
“Being full of affection for one’s goofy, self-centered, cranky, annoying self is home. It’s where world peace begins.”
Full disclosure: I listened to this podcast on a walk after my husband had just lost his temper. My goal was to listen in order to forward it to him for his own personal learning experience.
Instead, I discovered that there are things worse than public displays of anger, and I am guilty of them. Do I ever have contempt for someone in my heart, but never show it through harsh words? Does simply being silent in my anger make me a better person?
As always, Jesus directs us that our outer actions do NOT matter nearly as much as what is sewn into the fabric of our hearts. This is a part of a series on the Beatitudes and every episode is worth a listen.
Happy weekend! Do yourself a favor and watch the music video. It will make you smile—it’s real and could cause episodes of spontaneous dance on street corners, in public restrooms or in grocery store aisles.
This song is April’s choice for waking up my soul at the gym, dancing around the kitchen while making a cup of tea, or remembering my son, Oliver’s, banjo playing.
My son is entering his finals week at college, and sent me a link to this album of old hymns reimagined with soul and simplicity. Many of these songs take me back to Sunday nights as a child—sitting on orange-colored pews with all the adults who were praying and singing these same songs with a great amount of fervor and vibrato.
You can watch the music video for “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.” It’s especially nice.
This article is based on the work of the well-respected marriage and family therapist, Dr. John Gottman. He is known for studying relationships so thoroughly that he can detect within minutes of observing a married couple if they are likely to divorce or remain together. He calls the things he identifies in struggling relationships the “Four Horsemen.”
If you read this article and identify the usage of a toxic communication style in your relationship, don’t give up hope. Relationships and habits can change.
Honestly, in reading this article, I realized that I am a pro at stone-walling—the silent but deadly type. I need to change. I asked my husband, Nick, if he’d be open to re-instigating our weekly dates (which we have not been consistent in) and working through the next recommendation I have in mental health…
The Gottman Institute’s “30 Days to a Better Relationship” Course
Sure, I would love to do the private couples marriage retreat on Orcas Island with the real Dr. John Gottman and his wife to work on our relationship. But, I cannot afford the $10,000 price tag per a couple. But, if you have the funds, do it!
The “30 Days to a Better Relationship” Course is only $30 and is an online course with activities that can be done separately or together to improve what may seem dull, neglected or even un-savable. Sometime this summer, let’s give it a try and allow room for magic to happen.
This recipe is healthy, easy to make, and my 14-year-old daughter actually enjoys it! It reminds me of when I was in college, had no money, and would go to a local restaurant with bottomless chips and salsa, and bottomless bowls of chicken tortilla soup for $4.99. Let’s just say: the waiters did not love me.
Here are some tips I employ to make this soup a crowd-pleaser.
When I roast a chicken or purchase a rotisserie chicken, I take the leftover chicken meat off the bone, shred it and freeze it to be used in a recipe like this (or chicken tacos etc).
I think this recipe needs a bit more bulk to it. So, I would recommend also adding a can of beans or corn.
After living overseas where I could never buy a package of pre-shredded cheddar cheese, I grew accustomed to buying it as a block and grating it fresh before a meal. Trust me, cheese freshly shredded off a block of sharp cheddar tastes WAY better than the pre-grated stuff found hanging in the grocery story aisle. Try it once and tell me I’m wrong. You won’t. Use it as garnish for this soup along with avocado or sour cream.
Although this does have homemade tortilla strips to add to the soup, I am a sucker for a slice of fresh, warm bread and salted butter as a side. You can bake it yourself (praise you, I don’t have the time!), buy a fresh loaf of honey wheat from a local bread bakery, or we love these mini frozen French baguettes from Trader Joe’s. No matter what bread you buy—before you slice it, wrap it in foil, heat it in the oven, and serve it warm!
Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies {see recipe below}
We’re not buying the pre-made dough/ chunks from the grocery store. This recipe is way better!
I bake these once EVERY weekend as a way to celebrate the end of a lot of hard work. My kids love them, look forward to them, and I just shipped a bunch to my son for finals week. I’ve tried Joanna Gaines’ recipe and many others, and this one still always wins.
Some tips:
Set out your butter the morning you plan to bake and let it get nice and room temp. Don’t try forcing it to become room temp in the microwave—it gets too liquidy (is that a word?).
I now use organic cane sugar instead of the purely white stuff. A bit more pricey, but I feel better about it. :)
I’m a gal who enjoys the non-chocolate portion of the cookie more than the chocolate morsels. I find 1 cup of chocolate chips to be enough, but if you want more chocolate and less dough, add 1.5 to 2 cups of chips.
The cookies come out a bit fluffier if the dough sits in the fridge for 10-30 minutes before baking.
This dough makes a lot of cookies. To help my family not over-indulge, I only bake three cookies per a person. I divide the rest up into two packages and freeze it for another weekend’s treat.
I LOVE a comfy sock for working out, living life and sitting on the couch beneath a blanket.
These socks are colorful and have a style that makes me feel good. They also have great cushioning and a guarantee—if you lose one sock in the pair, they’ll replace them. If you get a hole in a sock, they send you new ones!
And they honor their guarantee—I’ve received a few new pairs of socks from Bombas when I’ve had the dreaded happen—a sock that runs away to party with the mice in the basement or gets imprisoned in the corner of some fitted sheet.
And when you buy, they donate clothing to someone in need. They are a bit more of an investment, but pay back in multiple ways.
Last month, I said that any one of you could send me your personal recommendations to share. My friend, Monica Gutierrez, responded with her own thorough list.
Monica is a colleague who has lived in Moldova the past several years, and is now home in Texas fundraising to move back overseas and serve in Lithuania. She trained to be a music educator, is a credentialed minister, and is the type of woman who welcomes every room and person with a big smile.
Please feel free to send me your personal recommendations, like Monica, to possibly be included in my future letters!
Here are Monica’s current favorites:
Podcast: Christ with Coffee on Ice with Ally Yost
Monica writes: Ally Yost is a new Christian and her insight is refreshing to me. Gives me a new perspective of how she views the Bible and how God has revealed himself to her. She still has things to work on, and I love how she is growing.
Movie: “My Sister’s Keeper”
Monica says: It isn’t a new movie, but it’s a goodie. It was cathartic, releasing, and the ending was memorable. Very applicable to my family’s loss record in the last 5 years—the family, the pain, the exhaustion. When members of my family have passed, there have been the same feelings. Highly recommend. Currently available on HBO Max.
Food: Protein Shake and Avocado Toast—A Green Breakfast
Protein Shake:
1 t. spirulina powder, 1 sliced medium banana, a handful of spinach, 1 c. of vanilla almond milk—Blend all ingredients together (I use a bullet blender) and enjoy.
Avocado Toast (recipe from Kylie Jenner’s chef)
1 slice of sourdough bread, toasted; smashed avocado spread (not guac); crushed red pepper flakes, honey—Toast your bread, smear with smashed avocado, sprinkle with red pepper flakes and drizzle with honey.
Music
Song “Defying Gravity” by Third Reprise—a disco-funk version that I didn’t expect to like! Done by New Yorkers and the emotions they convey. Ugh, made my heart soar!
Song “Chemtrails over the Country Club” by Lana Del Rey—Escapism fantasy of leaving LA, but never acting on it. One of many with the same idea of disillusionment with fame and fortune.
Worship Song “Holy Forever” by Jenn Johnson and Chris Tomlin—I’ve been reminded that there is nothing else. Eventually, we all stand and worship.